I think I am morally bankrupt
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
