I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
