Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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