Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
