i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
