I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
