I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize