That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
