but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
