why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize