i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My pussy is not your playground.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
