you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
