thus making me awesome and them whores
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
