At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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