is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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