He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
