Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
