Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
