i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
