he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We just shotgunned beers for America
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
