So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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