Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
