I can't watch pbs sober anymore
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
