Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The air was thick with penises
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
