So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
