Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
