he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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