You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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