I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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