this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She told me I should be a condom model.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
