she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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