We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
