Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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