do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
