making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize