I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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