Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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