You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
