That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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