if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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