big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
