he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
