I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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