problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
