For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This house was built for laser tag.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize