She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
