Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm at about main and main street
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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