I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
