so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
