what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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