so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
