Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize