just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize