know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
