You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
