put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
