So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
