why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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