What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you inspire me to be a worse person
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
