Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
