this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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