where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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