So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
