fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
