Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
