I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
