He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
